America

I've had so much on my mind recently. I told my friend Werm the other day that I feel like I need to blog every day for a week, just so I can put it all into words. I'm not sure I'm quite disciplined enough to make that happen...but it would be nice to get it out of my head.

Today, I'm going to touch on the fact that I feel like my calling has been even more reaffirmed recently. Yes, I have felt for a while that the Lord has gifted me with teenagers...and in that, a couple of months ago I got redirected from wanting to teach, to knowing I need to be in full time ministry.

However, there are teenagers in every country. And with so many Christ-followers doing missions all over the world, sometimes I wonder if I'm taking the "easy" route and just wanting to stay in America to be comfortable or something. (Even though I've felt called to be here.)

But it has been clear to me before, and has become clear to me again....just because we are Americans, doesn't mean people aren't completely broken here. Just because we do have access to the Word of God, doesn't mean that people even know anything about it. Just because we have money and "stuff," doesn't mean that people don't betray us and hurt us to the point that we don't know if we can believe in a good God.

Just because these teenagers have cars and cell phones and nice clothes, doesn't mean they don't need love and Truth just as much as a teenager in Africa who has never heard of Christ.

I truly believe that. Not to say that teenager in Africa doesn't deserve love and the chance to know Christ - they totally do. But take, for example, a former student of mine. Before walking into YoungLife, she did not know the Lord. She needed love and Truth spoken into her life. And now, because of that and the ways it changed her, she is spending all summer spreading the Word of God to the people of India.

Build them up, and teach them to walk it out. Whether that means in America, Africa, India, China, Chile...anywhere! As for me, I'll be here for now. Maybe going on the occasional mission elsewhere. But chances are you'll typically find me loving on some great students at the nearest high school. And I'll be loving every second of it.

God bless.

________

Edit: Kasey's comment made me realize I would like to say that I am by no means saying that wanting to do world missions is by any way bad or wrong. I think it is wonderful! This post was only to sort out my thoughts on what I know I personally am called to right now. And about feeling secure in it because of what I have been recently reminded of about our own country. We are all different parts of One Body - and I'm thankful we're at work all over this world.

The Mix of Positivity & Mourning

Right now I am supposed to be doing something productive, but of course I am without the proper instruments to do so. (This will be fixed soon!)

In the meantime.....

As many of you reading this know, the two main mentors in my life, Andrew & Sarah Beard are moving next week. And I've really been trying to concentrate on all the positives of the situation rather than be sad. For example:

• The day they announced their move was like a HUGE wake up call to what it means to be obedient to the Lord and all of the awesome things that come from it.
• Just days later, conversations I had with Sarah and another mentor led me to rediscover my true calling of full time youth ministry.
• I get to experience a glimpse of that and for the first time ever, get paid to work with the youth as part of a tripod (as I like to call it!) of interim youth directors - along with Allyson Lean and Andrew Michael Wermelskirchen until their full time replacements start.
• I've gotten some leads on other future possibilities.
• I've just really been challenged to be radical and bold...in speaking Truth to my students, in how I take care of my money, in how I go about looking for jobs, etc. And God has been working in ALL of it.
• Basically, thanks to Andrew & Sarah and all they have taught me by the way they live, my life is forever changed...in a way that lovingly and boldly pursues the Lord.

But I just read Sarah's blog post that she wrote while we were in the office today.....and it did indeed make me sad. Really sad. I truly feel that there is a good chance I am headed somewhere in Texas in the next few months of my life, but until (IF) that happens.....I will miss them dearly. I don't think that there are good enough words in this world to explain the ways they have impacted people's hearts and lives. A few years ago I never thought I'd work for a church....now I feel like the best decision I ever made was to apply to intern for them in 2009. 

Sarah, I feel like I will rewrite this in a note to you sometime...but I want you to know that you have not only taught me so much, both as a youth minister and as a woman of the Lord, but you have truly become one of my closest friends. And as much as I will miss your physical presence in my life, I can't wait to continue on our journey. And also continue hoping that we end up in the same city again soon. :)

But for now, I will wipe these tears from my eyes, remember God's faithfulness, and get excited about the opportunities ahead.

And oh yeah, try to find that cord........

God bless. :)

PS - If you'd like to find out more about what Sarah will be doing in Dallas - for this AWESOME organization called His Voice Global, please click here!!!

Sarah & I

Andrew & Sarah

Beard's house

Words

This weekend I had the incredible opportunity to attend the Passion 2011 Conference in Ft Worth, Texas. Yes, I have been to Texas twice in a month...and it could be 3 times in one month soon! (Huskers, I still love you, I promise.)

Anyway, the weekend was amazing. While I wouldn't say that it necessarily changed my life (my life has been changing since the moment Andrew and Sarah announced their move), it was more of an affirmation that the direction I have chosen to start walking towards the last couple months is very much so the Lord's direction.

And one of the things with that is that finally, my words, or I should say, God's words - are returning in me. And it feels so good, because it is something I've been worried about...because I feel like I'm going to be in more of a teaching position soon. Many times when I'm talking, I feel like I don't make sense and I stumble over my thoughts a lot. But even so, I've been taking risks in speaking more boldly into some of my students' lives, and have also been praying this verse:

"Pray also for me, that whenever I open my mouth, words may be given me so that I will fearlessly make known the mystery of the gospel, for which I am an ambassador in chains. Pray that I may declare it fearlessly, AS I SHOULD." Ephesians 6:19-20

And He has been moving! Even times when I've thought I made no sense, girls have responded. He has been so faithful in showering them with love and causing movement. And my heart has been greatly encouraged. Take risks...see His promises fulfilled!

I love my youth. And that will forever be at the heart of my ministry. Because without love, everything we do means nothing. But sometimes, we just have to buck up and cross that bridge.

Be bold in your love. Speak Truth fearlessly. Trust that He will move...whether you get to see it in this lifetime or not.

God bless.

Rejoicing in Worry

So the last couple of days have not been my best. A few different things are going on, weighing heavy on my heart. When that happens, I can't hardly escape my thoughts. I feel like I just start to drown in the rollar coaster of my own emotions...because one second I want to cry and the next I want to bite someone's head off.

On Wednesday as this was happening, I just wanted to do anything I could to give it to the Lord. I hated carrying it around and I was looking for a way to be able to stop worrying.

So I went to Starbucks. And had a little coffee with God time.

I started off by opening up Crazy Love, because I remembered Fran Chan talking about worry and stress in an earlier chapter. So I was reading along just being reminded of the fact that worry is sinful because we doubt that God has the control and the ability to intervene. That even when our worries feel important for whatever reason, it still doesn't make it right that we engage them...and that is mostly because of this verse:

"Rejoice in the LORD always. I will say it again; REJOICE! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The LORD is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in EVERYTHING, by prayer and petition, WITH THANKSGIVING, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." Phil 4:4-7

I've heard this verse like a million times. But it just kind of rocked my world the other day. I mean it literally says don't be anxious about ANYTHING. In EVERYTHING, present your prayers to God. AND DO IT WITH THANKSGIVING.

How often do we come to God complaining about our worries and stresses? We don't come to him THANKING Him very often in the midst of that. Or at least I doubt you do. I certainly don't. We're too focused on our own issues, and sometimes we probably don't feel very thankful. But the Word tells us to do this.

And if we do....then what is promised us??? "The peace of God, which transcends ALL understanding, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Dang. That is AWESOME.

How often do we go to God seeking His peace? I think most of the time, we just do it because it makes us feel better to be able to say we prayed about it, or we hope that in some way it will change our circumstances. But I don't think we often go to Him seeking His peace to transform our hearts and trust Him enough so that we don't even have to worry in the first place. 

But we should. And in that, because of His great promises, because of the fact that these worries are nothing compared to the eternity awaiting us.......we should REJOICE. PRAISE GOD!

"You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, becuase he trusts in you. Trust in the LORD forever, for the LORD, the LORD, is the Rock Eternal." Isaiah 26:3-4

God Bless.

Ramblings of the Heart

Two of those pairs of feet up there come to visit me today. My brother doesn't understand why on earth they'd want to spend their Spring Break in KC with me, ha.....I'm thrilled though!!!

A whole lot has been on my heart lately. In a good way! And now I come to the point where I try to articulate some of it to you without going on for eternity. :)

First of all, I spent part of my own spring break on a road trip to Texas with the lovely Sarah Beard. There were a lot of different reasons/parts to this trip, but mainly what I keep thinking about (including pretty much EVERY time I enter my car), is how blessed our conversation was throughout the ride. I was excited to bond with Smoky Phil (my car - thank you Lauren Shehan), but I feel like I got way more than that. I feel like Smoky Phil got baptized, and I feel like I'm entering some sort of Holy place every time I get in.

Sarah and I spent over 15 hours on the road and never slept. We shared our hearts, we worshipped, we spent the last hour of the trip praying out loud. And crying. It was that kind of goodness. It was Holy. And I can't get it out of my head. But I'm not complaining! :)

As another part of the trip, we spent some time around some other youth leaders in Austin. And for some reason, I can't get out my head watching one of them specifically love on her students. She had a bunch of middle school girls with her at church after a sleepover, and just watching her love and care for them...I mean I don't know why it keeps running through my head. Also thinking about Sarah and the way she has loved her students in Liberty, and my own love for my students in Springfield and Liberty...

I don't know. Honestly I don't know why this is on my mind right now. I mean, to me it's nothing radical. I firmly believe that a genuine love of students should be the primary foundation of anyone in youth ministry. But I'm also reading the book Crazy Love right now. Thinking about God's love for us, our falling in love with Him....I feel like I am on the verge of tying a bunch of thoughts together here soon...but I guess I have to apologize, because for now, it is just not happening yet. haha.

My last side note: I am not a morning person. (I know, shocking.) Seriously, I've tried having morning quiet times before. I know it changes the outlook of your day. But I fall asleep. I also typically don't play music in the morning. Today, however, I did for some reason. And I realized something. I may not be able to sit and read in the mornings, but I certainly can worship while I get ready. I can give up a little bit of silence if some soft music will point my thoughts to the Lord.

More to come if I ever tie those thoughts together. God bless!

Finding Grace in Cleaning

It should be no surprise to most of you here that I hate cleaning.

That being said, one of my actual favorite things about cleaning (especially here in the Loew household where ALL of my stuff is), is the random stuff I come across sometimes. Nowadays specifically, I occasionally come across old cards or mail or things of that sort, and many times I stop to read.

This particular evening, stuffed amongst the cards, I found this folded piece of paper. On it were some scribbles of words...I immediately remembered having sat in class jotting it down. I think I was actually in adolescent psych. Which is funny, given the nature of my life and this blog.

Yes, I am going to share with you what is on it. I used to journal a lot. And even when I was in class, I would have moments where I just had too much on my heart, so I would take out a pen and some paper and jot it down. This particular day, this is what came out of my heavy heart:

Oh Lord, I walked into this day with my sin all around me
I've turned my back on you, rejected your love
Your precious grace cost your life to save mine
Hanging on that cross, blood pouring from your side
Pouring down upon me
Cleans me white as snow
Let me stay in this flood forever
Let me believe that
IT IS FINISHED

Take this weight from my shoulders
Your burden is light...

I trail off there. But man, do I remember that point in my life. I was ridden with so much guilt just from a compilation of things in my life. But may we ALL come to know and believe that IT IS FINISHED....that the price has been PAID, and that because of God's RICH grace...we can GET UP, pick up our mats, and WALK.

Walk it out. God Bless.

Whirlwind

Life has been a whirlwind lately. And it's not going to slow down any time too soon. BUT, it's a very EXCITING whirlwind!!! Here's a brief vision of what's coming up:

Friday: Get to see a dear former YL kid of mine, Kasey. If you want to know a little bit about me and Kasey's story, check out this video I made for the YL banquet last year. Click here. I am so excited to see this girl, the last time I saw her was a year ago when the taped the video together.
Saturday: Head to DALLAS! See wonderful friends.
Sunday & Monday: AUSTIN!
Tuesday-Thursday: Open window for random travels with Sarah Beard and I. :)

There is some cool stuff going on in terms of Austin that I will wait to go into for now...but basically I am totally pumped and would love for you to pray alongside me that the LORD's will be done in whatever happens!

I am completely and totally excited to get out of this state and travel. It has been way too long! And I am so glad that I get to make the journey with Sarah as well.

So...do you think it would be a good idea for me to wear a Husker shirt in Longhorn country? I wonder if all the Big 12 drama has blown over yet......haha. Just kidding, I don't want to die at 22.

Love you all!