Wednesday, February 23, 2011

40 Seconds in SSR

It is seriously the wildest, most amazing thing when God starts bringing things in your life full circle. It is one of the best things about getting older, I think.

I was just sitting here at school during SSR (Sustained Silent I'm on plan time), flipping through my copy of Louie Giglio's book, "I am not but I know I AM," when I came across this chapter called, "You can TRUST HIM."

So I stopped to read. Because honestly, I have trouble trusting God sometimes.

Basically, Louie starts talking about how when John the Baptist was imprisoned, John wondered why Jesus was standing by and doing nothing. Christ didn't swoop in and grant John with a miracle and get him released from jail. In fact, quite the opposite. John ends up being beheaded.

Louie relates this to our lives often people pray for miracles and don't get them. While others get HUGE ones...lives saved, prayers answered. We've all heard those stories. So when we feel like God's not intervening in our own lives, answering our prayers, we start to wonder if He really cares.

Oh, but He DOES.

Louie goes on to point out that "If John had lived a little longer, he would have seen an even more senseless event than his own beheading. He would have witnessed the unthinkable -- the 'Lamb of God' being crucified at the hands of an angry mob. And for this cruel killing, John would also have concluded that God stood by and did nothing" (p142).

In typical female fashion, ha, my mind immediately started swirling. Within 20 seconds, I had thought through my depression 2 years ago (when I started having trouble trusting God), how it didn't make sense that YL was miserable for me, how I felt like God could have and should have swooped in. But then...was there a bigger picture there? Something He was saving me from? Preparing me for?


Another 20 seconds. OF COURSE. It's all making sense now. Even though He knew that drawing me away from YL would feel like the worst breakup of my life (and oh boy, it did...hence the depression)...He had to do it. He knew it was the only way to get me to see a different plan. The only way to get me to work for Sarah and Andrew (and change my ideas of church). The only way to build connections for the future HE saw for me.

Don't get me wrong. I still love YL. And He allowed me to go back to leading my senior year. And I fell in love with a GREAT group of girls. (Some of whose feet are at the top of this page!) But He needed me to see a different plan for my life. HIS plan. So He did what He had to do.

So next time you are going through a rough time, wondering why God just isn't showing up...I encourage you to try to find hope in the fact that God is working in terms of a BIGGER plan. And maybe one'll get to watch it all come full circle.

Just maybe not during SSR. And it might take longer than 40 seconds. :)

God Bless.


Anonymous said...

Heartfelt. After first reading the post, I dismissed it as illogical. That's when I realized, there is probably a great amount of truth in this; being that it makes very little sense in contrast to how the world thinks. Can you please keep continue to keep up in the loop on how God continues to change your heart and plans? Surely, God does not limit his plans for us, into what we can only imagine for ourselves...

Katie Loew said...

Even though I don't know who you are (obviously, ha), I just first wanted to say thanks so much for reading! I also wanted to let you know that I have every intention of keeping this blog updated with how God continues to shape my heart and plans. And as for your last sentence...Amen! Which is so exciting, right? So I'm trying to keep my options as open as possible, and just let God lead.
Thanks again!

Bailey Bollinger said...

You are so great. I love you. Even though I am tired of you going all Mama Loew on me all the time. Even in your blog world you are Mama Loew. Dang, girl calm it down :)